Have you ever caught yourself in the middle of some thought that you are judging someone by their appearance?
Fear not, it’s not only you. Despite our best moral conscience that says” don’t judge by appearance” we succumb to some kind of trance that we think we have flawless metrics to learn more about people’s personalities by observing and judging their external appearance. We know it, it’s wrong and yet we can’t seem to completely avoid it.
But there should be and there are things we can do to help ourselves from being judgemental. When we find ourselves judging someone by appearance, it is important to be mindful of when these thoughts pop into our minds and recognize them for what they are. This may not be an easy thing to do, but paying attention to the types of judgments or statements we make about others without much thought can help us become more aware of when we are making these assumptions.
We are here to explore some mindful exercises to help us train and command our minds, ” don’t judge people by their looks.”
Don’t judge too quickly.
Do not judge by appearances; a rich heart may be under a poor coat.
Before we move to exercise, let’s first begin by accepting our flawed thoughts as they are and forgiving ourselves that we make errors while we also make amends.
This post is not just about not judging others but it’s also about not judging ourselves too harshly.
Now let’s begin,
How To Deal With Subconscious Judging Someone By Their Appearance?
First, it is important to recognize when these thoughts are creeping into your mind
For example, if someone asks you whether they should wear a bright color or something more subdued for a job interview and your immediate response is something like “You should never wear bright colors! They will just draw too much attention and people will think that you don’t have good taste.” Or “You should definitely go with the brighter color, it will make you stand out and show that you are confident.” These are both examples of judgments that you may be making without realizing it.
Another way to become more aware of the times when you are judging others by their appearance is to pay attention to the way that you feel when you see someone who does not look like they fit into your usual definition of “attractive.”
For example, do you tend to feel uncomfortable or even disgusted when you see someone who is overweight? Or someone who is wearing clothes that are not in style? If you notice that you have a negative reaction to someone based on their physical appearance, then chances are good that you are judgmental towards them.
Once you have become more aware of the times when you are judging others by their appearance, it is important to learn some techniques that can help you keep those thoughts and judgments at bay. For example, if you start noticing that you are having judgmental thoughts about someone’s clothing or weight, then try to refocus your thoughts on something else.
For example, instead of looking at what they are wearing, focus on how they are interacting with others or what kinds of activities they are engaging in. This will help shift your attention away from any negative thoughts that may be triggered by their physical appearance.
Overall, learning to avoid judging someone by their appearance can take some time and practice. But by recognizing these thoughts when they arise and trying out different techniques to shift your focus or allow yourself to become more accepting of others, you can hopefully stop these negative thoughts from taking over.
Never Judge Someone, Tips, and Mental Exercise
- Take a moment and stop yourself in the middle of your train of thoughts and ask yourself a question.
– “Wait, why and how did I arrive at that conclusion? Why did I think this way?” - In the series of mental conversations, you have in your mind after that include more questions like:
– ” When I stand before a majestic elephant does it ever occur to me why is it so fat, or it is ugly or beautiful because it’s fat? Does how I feel about elephants particularly change from the fact that it has a long trunk? Or Do I just admire this mighty because of the way it serves its own purpose and in no way does it affect me how it looks.” - Take a long look at the person before you and think, ” Does it really affect me the way this person appears or looks?”
- To further give yourself the clarification to the thought above ask yourself this, ” Can this person or I do anything to change what really bothers me about their appearance? Should this person really do anything about their looks to make me feel comfortable? Am I in any position to validate what this person looks like?”
Try out these different techniques of self-awareness for shifting your focus away from these negative thoughts toward more positive or neutral topics.
For example, instead of fixating on someone’s physical appearance, try to focus on their personality or the conversation you are having with them. This can help prevent you from making snap judgments about people based on their looks alone.
It is also helpful to remember that everyone is different and that not everyone will fit into your definition of “attractive.” Learning to accept people for who they are, without judgment, can go a long way in helping you avoid these negative thoughts altogether.
Lastly,
While it may be difficult to completely stop judging others by their appearance and it’s not as simple as it is said to never judge someone, it is important to be aware of when you are doing it and to try out different techniques for preventing these thoughts.
With time and practice, you can hopefully learn to accept people for who they are and avoid making assumptions about them based on their looks alone.
Everyone is different and you shouldn’t let your own biases and preconceptions get in the way of seeing the person for who they really are. Instead, try to focus on getting to know them as an individual and getting to know what makes them tick.
With time and patience, you may just find that they’re not so different from you after all. Not judging others is one of many first steps toward being a better person.
